Any chance you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, confused, even resentful that you just don’t know what to do next or you don’t have more help – from your siblings, your spouse or others you thought would “be there” to help support your parent(s) with their dementia, chronic illness or ordinary frailty, as they age?

That’s exactly when working with a Certified POP Family Coach (PFC) can help you and your family to: grow closer and act like a successful team, to share more equitably or appropriately in tasks, and to become much more helpful with whatever is going on in your family.

Your PFC will show your family how to cooperate in order to:

1. Create a workable POPlan both to accomplish the immediate and long-term tasks your parents need help with;
2. Set up systems to keep open communications, both within the coached team as well as with the professionals with whom your parents interact – their doctors, lawyers, investors, caregivers;
3. Evaluate your POPlan as it rolls out to see what’s working and not, and tweak it so it is accomplishing the family’s goals.

Often when one person in a family has been acting solo, doing most or all the work for their parent, they become increasingly distressed by the absence of help, the criticism of their decisions and/or the apparent absence of any “good solutions.”  Or in your family, you may need a POP Family Coach to act as a “translator” to help TEAM POP communicate more effectively and re-establish trust with each other in order to make wiser and more workable decisions for your family.

Let’s just say that it’s your Mom with Alzheimer’s who’s just returned from the ER to her home where she took a fall and has been living with your weak and aging Dad and they are “refusing” any in-home help. Wouldn’t you feel a lot more comfortable with a POPlan that set up some or all of the following: who will follow up to get your Mom the medication she was prescribed; who will see she’s actually taking those meds correctly; who will take her to the next doctor’s appointment for a follow up to this hospital visit? Which POParent will accompany Mom to the hospital, if there is another emergency; will that person have and bring the list of Mom’s regular medications to the hospital; who is designated to decide about resuscitating your Mom; is there a health care proxy and where is it; who will address the issue of getting some live-in help and who will find that help; who knows if your Mom and Dad can afford that help; if needed, will the family chip in, and so on and so on?

Our Certified POP Family Coaching program was created by me, a licensed psychotherapist and attorney who specializes in eldercare, when I saw the 1 in 4 families, like yours, who were struggling to do better for their aging parents, but lacked the guidance and the answers they needed. The coaching is done on Zoom so all relevant parties can participate and sessions are flexibly arranged, as you need them.

It’s remarkable how effective a neutral outsider – trained to have families work well together and make wise decisions – can ensure that your family becomes a more effective and smoothly operating group. Then the work that’s needed can be done in a manner that best serves your beloved parents and you – and everyone feels good about playing their part. It’s all about transforming the many POP challenges into that journey of love! If you want to know more, go to: ParentingOurParents.org