[Ruth Bowers]

I’m so sorry to hear about your mother as I can see how many of us are trying so hard caring for our parents in their decline. It is never easy to see our aging parents suffer and that feeling of helplessness does not make it any easier.
Some suggestions you might want to try that helped me:
1. Schedule eating times for the same time everyday.
2. Encourage her to eat with others and not alone
3. Learn more about the possible effects of the medications she may be on.
4. Remember to take care of yourself during this time. The more good energy you can give out around your mother the better things will be for both of you. That’s what I found.
5. I also know that certified POP family coaches have helped a lot of people like you. Try one.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by Ruth Bowers.
• This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by Ruth Bowers.

[Ruth Bowers]

My husband and I faced a similar problem last year.  Perhaps you can afford a caregiver or companion to fill in for the tasks he’s most needing to give up doing.  You have some tough decisions to make.  Make a list of all the different choices that you have and see what your options are and find the one that works best for your situation.  Talk with your grandson and try to make the decisions together.

[Ruth Bowers]

Some people can “just do it.” Others of us are not so able to easily venture in and perhaps are fearful of rejection. Big time. We really aren’t sure how our children will respond and we are really uncomfortable about fully revealing how needy — and sometimes how lonely — we are.

I found that I just had to bite the bullet and trust that I’d raised them right. I found a time to open the conversation with my daughter when we were together, without any imminent problems, and when I felt calm. But, frankly, when I took that breath to start, I was shaking inside. I recognize that helping me with little things may be the beginning of a long road for us all. And when I did bring up my current needs for more help, her warmth in responding brought tears to my eyes.

Now more than ever, I am happy that I gave my best when I raised her because caring for me is looking very similar to my raising her.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 11 months ago by Ruth Bowers.

[Author]

Posts