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    Cindy Helms

    I am new to all this, my mother of 80 is getting ready to move in with me and my husband in March. Right now she lives in Kansas  and we live in a very remote area of Missouri, so this is not only a big change for us but for her also.  I have a question about dementia and not sure if she might have it or not, what does it mean when they start to lose their words?  Another concern I have is the fact that we live so far away from hospitals or doctors, are we making the right choice?


    Hi Cindy,  Im a retired RN,  First of all find out why?  Don;t let anyone tell you its old age, if the MD says that get a new one.  Word finding problems can be early dementia, can also be from a stroke.  But she needs a full physical and a base line cognitive test.  When she gets stuck on word, give her a new one that means the same thing.  You have to be careful and do this cleverly without making her feel stupid.  Not easy,let me assure you.  My Mom is 82 she is in heart failure and her kidneys blood flow is totally blocked.  We don’t know why she is still alive.  I think she bought her parts at Montgomery Wards.  I do not have my mother living with me.  Luckily my Dad is still alive and managing enough to let them live independently with allot of help.  I know it will be important for your Mom to feel like an important part of your family.  Give her chores right away.  Waiting on her hand and foot only isolates her and makes you annoyed.  I don’t think living at a distance from medical will affect her care, as long as you are willing to drive to appointments.  My Mom is confused, has dementia due to lack of oxygen and blood getting to her brain.  She constantly misses words and can’t remember her grandkids which drives her nuts.  I try to tell her I forget stuff all the time.  Once she has had a full medical workup you just have to go with the flow and lead with your heart.  Best of luck and prayers

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