I don’t think any of us understand our parents.  At first it was even harder, because I had lived states away.  Now I have spent the last 5 years seeing them every week for 1-2 days.   Now I underst and them some of the time.  I will never understand some things because they grew up in a very different time.  make decisions with love.  I try to do what they want unless it endangers their health or well being.  Yes, my mother is still angry because we moved her bedroom to the first floor without her knowledge.  But it was necessary she could barely climb stairs and would stop halfway to catch her breath, and got dizzy. probability of her falling was greater than her anger.  I’m still glad I did it.  Good Luk