Navigation: POP Community Forums New Member Introductions moving in with mom and dad

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  • #4152
    sadie
    Participant

    moving in with my parents ages 80 and 86. i am the only girl in the family and i live very close to them but i go to their

    house about 5 times a day. i spend approx. 8 to 10 hrs there. i cook, clean, med’s, cooking. I do it all.

    i feel like they just don’t know how much i do do. this is a situation i never thought about.

    i know this is a season of life i know i’ve got to get thru.  even with a caregiver two days a week, i am so consumed

    with them in my mind, i seem to never relax.  i was looking for others to help me get thru this. i love my parents and they

    have been so good to me and still are. but is a challenge.  I depend on God daily, second by second, minute by minute.

    does anyone else feel that way.

     

     

     

    #4192
    Penny
    Participant

    Oh , and Sadie, you are speaking my language.  I’m worried about you.  You are already feeling overwhelmed and now you are moving in.  What would happen if you broke your femur today.  Don’t let your brothers get away with dumping on the sis.  I say that and then, I remember, I have six siblings that always have more important things to do.  I try to think of jobs I can appropriatley give to them.  My brother lives in Colorado but he sends money, pays their cable, and looks up things like cameras on the internet. My sister lives a mile from my parents and is a nurse practitioner but she does as little as possible. She Likes to show up when a crisis is on so she looks like she cares.  What I’m saying is some siblings will never change and don’t waste your energy.  Others you can get to help a little.  Take care of yourself, make sure you have dinner with a friend, start exercising,take some classes in painting or pottery to help your stress.

    I do not live with my parents.  I do go in two days a week and do everything.  I have finally convinced them to have a cleaning lady every week.  My Mom has dementia and can drive you nuts in a short period of time.  So the cleaning lady gives Dad another two hours he can get out of the house.  My other sister and brother share the weekends.  But, I do all medical appointments, medications, meals, pie, cookies, take care of Mom when she is sick,{  I live in when one of them is sick.}, pay bills, manage anything they don’t understand ,insurance,etc., just manage their lives, so they can stay home.

    My mother is  now dying, part of the time I look forward to it.  Then I think I am the worst person in the world.  Girl talk helps my stress and gardening.  But, I am so stressed I can’t remember stuff and my house is falling apart.  This POP site helps, a place to vent.

    Hang in there, squeeze some brothers. thinking of you

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