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  • #3863
    Tamar
    Participant

    My Dad is in great physical shape, good attitude, begin slowing down & asked me to help w/ his business affairs a year ago. Working with a professional, I’ve been informed it appears that two step-children, w/ whom he is very close, have been financially taking advantage of him – he’s transferred huge amts of funds to them, starting the year his wife (their mother) became ill & continuing until 18 mos after her passing, when he was 89-91 years old;he’s now 93. He believes he owes them money, believes they are ‘deserving’ and I had at first believed this too. The record shows something else,the professionals are insistent.

    I’ve struggled with taking ownership of the Power of Attorney role and now I have to let him know he actually doesn’t owe these ‘deserving’ kids funds, they own him & have put him in legal jeopardy with these transactions….I find myself soft-pedaling and being reluctant to tell the full extent of the situation, using euphenisims “there are some errors” ,etc.  He is very intelligent & alert, but I know he does not process as he used to. How do I change his perceptions, keep his dignity intact, assert myself and give him the message the situation is different than what he believes?  THey live in the same town, he sees them all the time…and I am just sick over what I’ve discovered at how he’s beeen used…..thanks for your attention

    #3867
    Jane
    Moderator

    Hi Tamar,

    Sorry to hear that you are dealing with this difficult issue. If you feel that your father is being financially abused and you feel that he is incapable of seeing it or taking action, you may want to take matters into your own hands and call the Elder Abuse Hotline. Get as many details as you can about who, what and when this financial abuse came into play. Find other witnesses that may have noticed this financial abuse as well. Most states will allow you to make a report anonymously in case you may be afraid of those who are taking advantage of him.

    If you feel that you need more assistance in this matter, please consider talking with one of our Certified POP Family Coaches to help you come up with a plan of action.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Jane.
    #4024
    Penny
    Participant

    Wow, maybe you need to bring charges against them, let the legal community help.  Have you talked to a lawyer.Legal aide.  It’s very hard when parents we think are making mistakes.  Are you concerned they will use up all his money?  It is his money and if he wants to give it away, its his right.  Can you put some money in other areas they can’t get to it. Good Luck I feel your pain.  My parents drive me nuts.  They have a septic that is open to air because Dad doesn’t feel it needs to be repaired.  You can’t convince Dad of anything, its his way or the highway.  My mother is confused and he needs to hire more help.  But why would he waste money on that his kids can take care of them, ugh.

    #4063
    Kathy
    Participant

    I hate to say this but if your Dad ever has failing health and ends up in a nursing facility; he’s going to need that money for his care.

    And it’s horrible that if he runs out of money; if he needs Medicaid, they have a five year lookback at times. If he gave large amounts of money away within five years of applying for Medicaid, he may be denied.

    At this point in time, he needs to save his funds for his own care should he get ill and end up in a nursing facility. I pray he doesn’t and can continue to live on his own.

    God Bless for his continued good health!!

     

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