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  • #3257

    banyon
    Participant

    83 YO mother has always been irresponsible with finances.  Had a professional job, was married to a prof. engineer and yet she barely has enough to make rent, food, meds.  Family pleaded with her to plan for her golden years, to no avail.  Husband has recently entered a home and she is poor, lonely and suffering end stage renal failure.  I want to help but I cant help but remember she’s gotten in this bind all by herself.   Not a stupid woman but def. there are cognitive difficulties. Nobody wants to tell her “told you so” but two children feel they’re stuck with complicated care which could have been way easier.  Shoulda, coulda, woulda.  I’m p*ssed about it but feel guilty about these emotions.  It is my Mom, after all.

    #3258

    banyon
    Participant

    I forgot to say she also was neglectful of her parents who died as wards of the state.  She never was accountable for this and now, in her time of need, is terrified the same will happen to her.  Neither of her two children want to let this happen, but wonder if it’s payback time….The saddest and most embarrassing of family dramas.  Thank goodness there is no inheritance, I couldn’t bear that drama too, lol.

    #3958

    Jennifer
    Participant

    You are not alone. My mother refused to get life insurance, telling my sister, “I guess you’ll have to pay for my funeral” as if it was our duty. Dealing with feelings of guilt constantly. I’m so sorry you’re struggling, but please know others struggle, too. I’m so envious of my friends who have/ had good relationships with their parents and respect them. Hang in there!

    #4031

    Penny
    Participant

    I think you should forget the past.  Do you love your mother?  the great thing about no Money, Medicaid.

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