November 23, 2014 at 11:32 pm #3155PattiParticipant
that because i am permanently disabled with chronic back pain and knee issues i won’t be able to help my parents when they need me. there are times i barely take care of myself but i see their need, love them, and honestly want to be there but, there is a but. in the last 3 weeks i have spent most of my life with them, aged 85, in urgent care centers, emergency rooms, and just when i needed them for the first time they couldn’t be there for me. i am very independent. have a lovely mother and giving father who has major control/anger issues and can abuse the health care providers to the point of complete embarrassment. i am so glad i found this site because i have feelings of resentment, guilt, inadequacy, fear of loss, denial …and helplessness which have left me exhausted emotionally and don’t help my health or quality of life. i need you out there. it is only really beginning and i am alone in this. until now i think.November 24, 2014 at 8:02 pm #3162Jennifer TaylorParticipant
Hi Patti, welcome to the community! Even though this is pretty new, it seems like there are already lots of helpful and kind people here. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.November 26, 2014 at 10:51 am #3165JaneModerator
Please don’t feel alone in this. We are here to help you through this. Dealing with chronic back pain and knee issues while trying to help your parents is definitely not an easy task.
However, one of our central principles of POP is that the power of the mind is an incredible thing. If you can start to focus more on the many positives in your life (no matter how hard that might be), especially at this time of Thanksgiving, you will also start to see things in a different light. It might be hard to think of things that you are grateful for at this moment but I am confident you can not only be grateful but you will reap the scientific results of gratitude: better physical and emotional wellbeing!
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can. Don’t let anyone else tell you differently. When you can feel the gratitude and notice you’ve chosen to be of service to your own parents, not fighting what is happening to you and your family, you will find that things are a lot more easier to handle. When we try and fight and resist the events that happen it makes life that much harder. You want to flow with the river, not paddle against it.
When you’re feeling a bit less overwhelmed, take another look at the website. You’ll notice we offer you and POParents in your situation a host of resources, a book that’s directly on point, a wonderful coaching program and this space to vent, learn, interact and share what you’re going through with others.