Parents are the king ad Queen of manipulation.  Because we are their children we bite hook line and sinker.  My advice make changes drip by drip.  Try hiring a little bit of help so your husband is home one more day.  Then increase, good Luck.  I tried to hire an assistant for my mother and she had an “out an out” tantrum.  I havn’t been working the last 5 years, so I could care for my mother.  She is in heart failure they keep telling me anytime.  That sounded dreadful, but it puts a strain on my husband and I.  Plus, my RA gets worse and I don’t know how many more years I have to work.  You will never change the siblings.  I have threatened , begged you name it,  I have 6 siblings.  Of course Mom doesn’t want to change she is getting what she wants.  I feel your pain, its almost impossible.  But you have to protect your familly.  Don’t let your parent obligations run you into the ground.   I go to my parents and do everything in 2 days.  they want me to move in, I told them no, I don’t want to.