My dad visits my mother every day in her nursing home and is there every time I visit with my mom. He does nothing but yell and complain to the nurses aides about the care they are giving, when it seems to me they are doing the best they can. This is really hard for me to see and hear and know that this is also upsetting my mom. What can I do to address this problem?
Then sit down with you dad and very kindly, in a calm voice, tell him how you’re feeling. Be clear that it upsets you and your mother to have him act in this way. You might look at the fact that he’s feeling somewhat out of control as the man in the family “visiting” his wife. He may be lonely or have some problems of his own, medical or otherwise, that could be causing his explosiveness.
Explain to him that you understand that he wants your mother to have the best care but he needs to handle this in a more calm and collected way. And when he has concerns, he should address them outside of the room with someone at the facility who can address them..
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