Navigation: POP Community Forums New Member Introductions Caring for two 80 yrold toddlers

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    When I care for my parents I tell my sister its like trying to care for two toddlers.  If Mom is having trouble with the television remote, Dad needs you immediately to find the cord to his electric blanket.  Thats just one example it goes on all day.  My mother is 82 in heart and renal failure, and confused.  Dad is just a very self centered 85 year old.  I have 6 siblings and I am the best at tolerating my father.  Some of my siblings limit their visits because of him.  He also believes that one of us kids should move in and take care of them.  Its are duty to take care of them.  I can only manage to stay two days before I need a stiff drink.  Mom was always the sweetest woman ever.  however now due to medical issues she is very confused.  Mom looses time of day, what day, and is no longer able to take care of their home.  We would separate Mom and Dad, but he is her rock, and they have been married 64 years.  If she gets very anxious he is the only one who can calm her.  Mom has had times where she forgets to go to the bathroom, sometimes doesn’t shower for days.

    I am there caregiver.  I live 11/2 hours away, with my very understanding husband.  My Chores:  renewal on anything, taxes, insurance problems, medical appointments, medication box and renewals, groceries, cleaning, laundry, change beds, buy clothing, return stuff they bought wrong.,{which is frequently}, cut toenails,  Momsit so Dad can get out.  Last week I spent 3 days with them because Mom had a virus that went into bronchitis.   She doesn’t drink enough, takes alot of medications, and is very frail.

    My husband and nephews and one sister helped remodel their house.  It was not in good repair and had two floors.  We had to move Moms bedroom to the living room.  Fix Moms new bedroom floor.  Re arranged the house to combine the dining and living rooms.  Then we totally gutted the bathroom and added a shower on the first floor.  My husband and one nephew are very skilled people.

    Mom medical condition continues to worsen week by week.  I figure this is her last year of life.  So I keep doing what I can

    I’m very angry with some of my siblings who do next to nothing.  Two of them live within a mile of my parents home.


    Hi..I fully understand your situation as I also have full care of both parents in late eighties.  Good luck wishes for strength, courage and hope. Pam



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