There are very nice facilities that can take care of Mom.  Some of them have outdoor gardens, and activites for people with memory deficits.  i know you never wanted to place her.  But you don’t want to loose your husband either.  People get the best help at facilities if families visit frequently.  If she has no money she can get medicaid which will pay for a faciity.  At least get her medicaid so a companion could come stay with her while you and your husband went on a date.  It sounds like you and your husband need to either hire help or place her in a facility.  Alzheimers patients reach a point where they are not safe at a regular home.  They can wander and get lost easily.  You need and elder care lawyer to help with finances.  Actually every county has a social worker that can help you apply for medicaid.  You need to get her medicaid asap.  Plus if you are looking for somone to help  it may reassure your husband you havnt forgotten him.  There are great Alzheimers support groups , you need to go.  This is a difficult disease that noone can face alone.