More seniors are moving in with their middle-aged children according to prominent sources. Some aging parents save money by selling their homes, moving in with their children and then using that money to hire in-home care. Now more than ever, we’re being told that POParent homeowners are adding on guest houses, separate living quarters and “re-arranging” much of their lives to do this. In some cultures, a family may feel “obligated” to accommodate their aged even if that presents life-changing results. Most of us will be unprepared, at least initially, for the demands and variety of solutions required by “live-in” family members with declining health and increasing neediness. Some POParents are forced to leave their employment or lose hours and benefits to become family caregivers. Others will find themselves “sandwiched” between adult children returning home along with aging parents, at the very moment they anticipated more freedom or retirement and travel.
We know this: living with your own aging parents or your middle-aged children is definitely not for everyone! Many families are not equipped to handle what’s involved with sick older relatives, particularly those with dementia and chronic illnesses. And many of our seniors age best when they’re actively involved in daily social environments with peers, when there are age-related activities to keep them busy and feeling useful and where there are knowledgeable, trained staff observing their progress daily.
The decision of whether to have your aging parents move in with you or to be that person “moving in” to your children’s home is very complicated. Many elements need to be examined and weighed carefully. Many families report great benefits from talking briefly to one of our experienced POP Family Coaches. Coaching provides family members a neutral trained person with a wealth of life knowledge to help you decide if moving in — or inviting your in-laws, parents or other aging loved one to live with you — is best for you and then to work with you to make it joyous.
We’d love to hear your experience and any comments you have below and/or on our forums.