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#3849
Jane
Moderator

Please write back often and encourage others who are struggling to also share their problems and solutions.

Hopefully as you keep reading your way through the  “Oh My God!, We’re Parenting Our Parents” book, you’ll find a lot more guidance and see more “progress.”  And you’re right, it isn’t easy — at either end.

You’re on the right track with asking rather than telling.  Realize that moving away from what is familiar to your parents is a big change, and one they might not be ready for.

Find moments here and there to encourage them to move closer, but don’t push the issue if they are still able to manage.

Similarly to your parents, when my parents said “No, we’re not coming” after they’d said “yes.”  In my case, it took several more years for them to move to where she lived and the triggering event was “THE DOCTOR SAID IT WAS NECESSARY.”

Understand that there may be only so much you can do until your parents decide it’s in their best interest OR until a triggering event or series of events makes it necessary for you to actually step in and help. Always better if it’s the first one and you all plan it out together.