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Thank you, Trisha, for your kind and thoughtful response and suggestions. Yes, you’re right that everything is new and some issues are as old as I am. I think your idea of putting myself mentally in her place to create empathy is the toughest part. And, you are SO right in suggesting that we accept them without expectations of changing.
I will refer to your post again and again to remind myself of these tips.
Good luck with your mother. I hope that you have more of those “bonus” moments.
Having been a caregiver to my first husband for the last 5 years of his life, I know and remind us both, of the holy work we do in caring for others. That’s what I cling to through the continual complaints. I know this is precious time…cranky or not.