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    Hi all,  I am a RN taking care of my mom in my home . She had been a independent 84 yr old. in July mom had a sub aracnoid bleed, and had 2 surgeries, which the Drs were impressed. My big problem is …She is very pleasently confused, but she cannot remember ranything short term wise, and remembers most everything from years ago. But today she was asking me about her mom and who is caring for her? she had died in 1978 and she still insist that i am lying to her. so i try to explain to her about her moms death and she refuses to believe it,I am lost on if i really should be trying to correct these things? also she is seeing and hearing people that are not here. She truly believes these people were here. what is the best way to handle this?

    Hi Penny,
    It is no easy task to take care of someone with Alzheimer’s, patience and understanding are essential during this time.  Accept the fact that your mother no longer remembers, lives in the past and see things that aren’t there.  Correcting her and arguing with her will only cause added stress in her life, try and go along with things as much as possible. If you need more resources or information, check out the POP community blog, “Oh My God! We’re Parenting Our Parents” book or schedule a session with one of our Certified POP Family coaches.



    Don’t reorient it just upsets demented people.  Just go with the flow , don’t correct unless absolutely necessary.  Agree, make up stuff, don’t correct.  If she sees people say something general, sometimes I see things too.  Change the channel.  If she is having a conversation with a person not there, comb her hair, get her a cup of tea, turn on her favorite music, turn on a favorite movie.  My mom loves little kids, babies.  On especially bad days I turn on the video of babies and success she is good for a while.  Good luck, make sure you get yourself some help and a break.  Otherwise you will loose your noodle.


    Your mom is very blessed that you are an RN and know how to take care of her.

    I only wish that for my dad as he asks all the time if he can come and live with me. That’s not a possibility as we have stairs upon stairs in our home and I just know he’d try to navigate them. With that, I’d have no idea how to deal with any of his health issues..and thus, him being in a nursing facilitly is the only place I feel he’s safe.

    As his dimensia grows, I’d love to take him out to our favorite restaurants, but often unsure lately. He can get in and out of my car with a bit of help; yet taking him out to eat ..he often hangs his head; yet tells me he wants to go out for “chicken wings” so badly. I just don’t know how to deal with him hanging his head as he eats some; and then hangs his head again.

    I just don’t know what to do anymore, as taking him out to eat is getting to be a bit out of the question.

    I feel horrible not taking him out, but how do I deal with his hanging his head while out?  Anyone else been there?

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