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    In 2015 my husband and I decided to build a new house that would be an hour away from his mother approaching her mid 70’s. I thought that it would be a good idea to build a mother in law addition to our house and move her in seeing how she was a widow and was quite demanding on projects for my husband to do for her. Well the first few months were wonderful but after my husband had back surgery all of a sudden my mother in law needed back surgery. Then three months after her back surgery she needed carotid artery surgery and now three months later she had another back surgery. After her carotid artery surgery it was like she was looking for things to be wrong with her. She has at least 4 to 5 doctor appointment a month to various specialist for various problems. Most of which end up being nothing. After this last back surgery she was home for two days and she was convinced she was having kidney failure. She had a bit of swelling in her feet. She made an appointment with her primary care doctor to see her but she couldn’t wait and at 4:30 in the morning the next day we are taking her to the emergency room and ended up spending 6 hours there to have them tell her she needs to limit her sodium intake and elevate her feet. She spends all day surfing the web looking at what could be wrong with her and then fixates on what that maybe then goes into a major panic attack. My husband is  losing all patients with her. So I’m the one stuck trying to keep everything peaceful. I feel like this is quickly turning ugly and her  tendencies will only get worse and worse. I work full-time and also care for our seven-year-old son and find it hard to find time to run her to these various appointments or leave for emergency room trips in the middle of the night. My husband is the post commander over the largest state trooper post in our state and has a very stressful and demanding job.  Yet she expects us to change and rearrange our daily lives and schedules to fit her appointments or panic attacks. We are both to the point that we don’t know what to do with her. She is very kind and very sweet but she does have the tendencies of always thinking she has a major medical issue.  We are both very exhausted from all of this and we hope someone has some advice.


    Wow, I would be exhausted too,  What a demanding woman.  She needs to see a psychiatrist and recieve therapy.  I know another appointment.  But hopefully they could help you come up with some coping strategies.  You could actually have family meetings and set up a contract.  You made need to do some tough love.  If she doesn;t limit appointments she needs to go to nursing home.  That is very hard even when its your own mother.  I would definately go with a psychiatrist and therapy.  Thinking of you you need a solution ASAP

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