Parents are the king ad Queen of manipulation. Because we are their children we bite hook line and sinker. My advice make changes drip by drip. Try hiring a little bit of help so your husband is home one more day. Then increase, good Luck. I tried to hire an assistant for my mother and she had an “out an out” tantrum. I havn’t been working the last 5 years, so I could care for my mother. She is in heart failure they keep telling me anytime. That sounded dreadful, but it puts a strain on my husband and I. Plus, my RA gets worse and I don’t know how many more years I have to work. You will never change the siblings. I have threatened , begged you name it, I have 6 siblings. Of course Mom doesn’t want to change she is getting what she wants. I feel your pain, its almost impossible. But you have to protect your familly. Don’t let your parent obligations run you into the ground. I go to my parents and do everything in 2 days. they want me to move in, I told them no, I don’t want to.