I have found through trial and error that I must care for me first, before I think of anyone else. What does loving care and kindness mean for me? Rest, healthy eating habits, exercise, community, being loving in my partnership with my husband. I must take care of me first, then my primary relationship with my husband, and then I will have the strength and courage and humor to deal lovingly and presently with relationships that I am physically losing.
My mother and stepfather just moved across the country to live near me so that I can be of service to them in their final years. My mom is 80 and still physically active but less so cognitively. She is overwhelmed with caring for herself and her husband with early dementia. This is where I come in. I am honored and scared shitless! What I figured out after almost 5 months of reestablishing them into a new life and trying to continue my life as usual, is that my life cannot remain the same as before, and…..for me to have the capacity to love them and myself in the way I desire, I needed to create space to do so. Gratefully, I came up with a potential solution, and, found the strength to ask for what I needed financially from their resources so that I could let go of my job and thereby give myself the spaciousness to assist them with their current needs without sacrificing my family or my independence.
This plan is just beginning in the new year 2015. I am excited and apprehensive because I have never done anything quite like this. I am truly trusting myself to create the life of my dreams while honoring, supporting and understanding their life’s journey. I am open to asking and receiving assistance along the way. I am hoping to continue to forgive myself and others as needed, so we can all experience that best each of us has to share.