If you’re a POParent who’s recently had a senior parent or loved one die, you may be finding yourself bereft. Your home may remind you of “empty nesting,” when your teens left home for college or an independent life. You may find yourself in a time of much contemplation as well as living with many emotional reactions, some of them even unpredictable like anger or despondency.

Often the best thing to do when we’re feeling a lot of emotions is to feel them. We’re too “old and wise” not to recognize this truth: suppressing feelings will only stay suppressed for so long and, when they come back up, they often hurt even more for having stayed unattended.

So, in the midst of our grieving, we must discover the answer to this question: How can I avoid lingering too long in sadness and grief? How do you know when it’s time to stop being sad, angry, or whatever unpleasantness is going on? There is no one right amount of time for you to grieve.

Some of us have other responsibilities that require us to “move on” and “manage” our feelings. Others know that they need to create the next vision for their lives, but don’t know how. If you’re one of those, you may try asking your loved ones to help you or seek some temporary professional help.

For some, it may be a good time to evaluate what you’ve learned caring for this beloved person in your life. Was it a wise choice? What did you find out about yourself?

For all eventually the time will come when we need to begin to create what’s next for our own lives — without them.